my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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