sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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