my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize