I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
