very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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