I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
wanna go halves on a baby?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize