Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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