it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
