I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
