I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
