you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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