i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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