ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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