dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
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I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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