Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
