gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
