She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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