So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
