I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
