Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
