She announced her abortion via fbk
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize