Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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