He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
