I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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