there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
tell me about the eggs
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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