very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
