hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
