Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
