I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize