nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
