What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
