Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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