so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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