you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
