so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
