you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
