she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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