is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
