Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
