so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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