I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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