You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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