oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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