Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
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pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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