so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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