He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
