Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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