that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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