Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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