Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
