i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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