sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize