No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
