That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
