i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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