I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
