I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
