Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
