It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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