Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
