Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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