Nicole vs. Life
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
