I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
When are your genitals available?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
