he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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