i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
