We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
