After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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