Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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