I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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