Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize