My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
