actually, I'm a sock model
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
