Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
