He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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